we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
