You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
