Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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