google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
