White coat. Heels.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
