apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
