So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm too high and old for this...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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