Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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