sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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