this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
