I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
