Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
