Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Someone came in the potted fern
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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