If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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