Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
