so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
