woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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