I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
