Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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