saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
