Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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