remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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