You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He better not be in your backpack
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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