YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
