And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
