the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
