why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
