On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
