At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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