I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
