Say something about gay babies.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
