The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
