my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
