Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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