why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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