It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Can you bring me the toilet please
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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