I'm really into asian looking animals
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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