my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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