So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
