Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
bring money and cleavage
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize