I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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