If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
