This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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