i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
