Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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