i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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