i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
