great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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