am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
