Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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