Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
