What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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