Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So squirting runs in the family.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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