That's intense
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
