i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
