So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
