Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
