On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
