it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
