she was so not down for the gang bang
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My bed smells like the plague
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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