If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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