i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
