It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize