I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
