I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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