i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
