First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
