theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
