since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
